Perfection

I must admit one important thing at the beginning. Sometimes I am acting like a perfectionist what leads me wrong way. I mean that I spent so much time on thinking and reading that finally I can not manage with my plan. This time I want to create a serie of posts related to linguistics science. In spite the fact that I am keen on linguistic’s topics, I must focus on literature as well ( I chose a seminar leading to a master’s degree in the area of literary studies). That’s why I have to read a lot books and I have limitated time for looking for answers to my doubts. Four years ago, while I was participating in a conference, I wrote down numeruos questions that had came to my mind. Lately I thought that it would be absorbing if I sought some information in that area. Even more so because English is the languague in which we can get the highest numer of information. Besides I would love to share with you some stuff about psychology as well, the science which I consider very useful in various aspects of life.

I have listened to some psychologist talking about perfectionism and I have read a little bit it as well.
I wish I knew about this phenomenon earier! I would have saved more time and energy if I had known that I belong to people who postpone some activities due to fear of doing it insufficiently right. One day I saw though files on my computer and I felt pleasantly surprised that many years ago I wrote so much. Creating blogs was by best hobby and I coudn’t live without writing, without even thinking about any topic. I spent a lot of time on medidating and creating stories. Right now those blogs don’t exist because onet had removed them all. Some of my friends started to publicate posts on blogspot but I wasn’t convinced. Finally I kept writing down my thought by hand but I had never published them. I don’t know why. Maybe I lacked persistence? Now I suppose that I lost my enthusiasm. I stopped dedicating my free time on considerations and I quit writing.

Now I should get to the point and talk about some features that obstruct my progress and, on the other hand, how I can take advantage of some of them.

1. I focus on every activity I perform a two hundred percent
Even if it’s not relevant I like to read about something and meditade about it. I am not able to leave an article without reading it till the end, neither I skip a fragment of a book. But if I did, I would feel guilty that I missed something. I really admire people who have the ability of selecting information. For example, my fiancé knows skiping insignificant phases in a novel without missing the plot. But then if I did the same I would have an impression that I showed disrespect to the author.
Sometimes it takes me a lot of time on doing one thing, but finally I know I did my best. At least I try to think this way.

2. I feel overwhelmed when I experience a failure
It is not an easy statement. I blame myself if I do something improperly, if I am not good enough. One day a thought crossed my mind – „I know nothing about that topic- I am a loser!” and I did nothing. Then, after reading an article about learning the lessons from fails, I realized that what one should do in such a situation is to think about what we know, not about our lacks. Focusing on imperfections, we can easily forget that time is passing by and we only have to make use of it. Not complaining.

3. I do my best or I do nothing
This is the worse defect of perfectionism. We think over a topic in order to prepare ourselves to present it the best we can. However, we never will be prepared as we wish. There will be always something that we wanted to improve, read again and think it over. Actually, it occured me with writing first post for this blog. I expected that it would be wonderful, gripping and impressive. Finally, I ended reading some complex positions that made me believe that if I want to write about Proto-Indo-European (a topic that I consider the most interesting and absorbing) I should study different course. Maybe in ten years 😊 Life is long, we can’t do all at once. Everyday we have an opportunity to grow and find out useful stuff.

4. I don’t like to have a rest
It is a little bit funny but I tend to skip a meal while I am working. As I had said, I hate unfinished projects, books or articles. Even my fiancé knows that he can talk to me only when I finished a chapter or a phrase. Lately I present more awareness about the importance of free time. If we hadn’t sleep, we would have got crazy, literally. Why let it happen? It is better to have a walk, do exercise, drink a cup of coffee and then pick up the slack. The energy will help us to concentrate better.

5. I have trouble with finding free moment for me
This problem is similar to the latest. I know that if I forget about my hobbies, I get easily irritated and sad, I feel angst and I want to sleep more. Instead, spending time on something I enjoy, helps me to have motivation for work and study. Lately I enjoy listening to international news on Youtube. This way I combine business and pleasure – I find out about places and people I admire and I improve my listening comprehension skills.

7. I concentrate too much on details
This one is too hard for me to explain. I will never leave a desk dirty if I clean other furniture. I can’t. Maybe it is good, but sometimes it takes me so much time that after a while I realize that I dedicated more time to an activity that I had planned. I still don’t know how to deal with that. I only now that is good to make a list of things to do and imagine about what time I will complete it.

8. I spent too much time on one activity, I can’t learn different subject at once (at the same time)
The last problem is related directly to the examination session. I can’t have any influence on that, however planning is the key in that object. There no more I can do. Just accept it and keep going.